Identity Crisis Resolved

“I take my ukulele everywhere,” I would say when I was between the ages of 13 and 16. And it was true, everywhere I went I took that ukulele with me.

We moved to Bolivia. I took my old Martin with me. I played it when I was happy, I played it when I was sad. I watched countless videos of famous uke players. I practiced. I played. I learned more and more. And I got proud.

Then, one very sad day, I sat on it. Yes, you heard me right. I sat on my precious uke. I ran upstairs and bawled my eyes out for an hour. The poor thing was crushed, what was I going to play? How would I pass the time? How would I work on the new song I was learning?

A few months later my grandparents brought me a replacement. I practiced. I learned. I played. And I got prouder.

Daddy and Mama bought me a beautiful new ukulele when I was 15. Prouder still. I would play it for people and they loved it, they thought I was so good. It became who I was. Because I was so good, it became my identity.

But it wasn’t satisfying. Yes, I loved to play. Yes, I loved the applause, the praise. Yet even that didn’t make me happy. It left me empty, unsatisfied, wanting more. 

A couple of years ago, in the midst of this, God slowly changed my focus.  The urge, the passion to practice my ukulele started going away. Oh, I still played, but not with that competitive desire to impress others with how good I was. 

I began to read the bible with a fervor as I saw my need for God.

Now I know where my identity lies. It’s not in my how good I play my ukulele, or how far I can throw a Frisbee, neither is it in my friends or my family. It is in my God, my Savior Jesus Christ.

Who hath saved us, and called us with an holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began, 

2 Timothy 1:9  

But God forbid that I should glory, save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ… Galatians 6:14a

I’ve been finding that my identity is a wonderful thing.

The coolest thing about this new identity is that I get to communicate with God on a personal level. I get to spend time in prayer, seeking his face, getting to know him. He teaches me as I read his word, he speaks to me when I pray, and he fills me with satisfaction.

Hallelujah! I have found Him
Whom my soul so long has craved!
Jesus satisfies my longings;
  Through His blood I now am saved.

-George Beverly Shea 

Still here, standing on the promises,

Emily jo

P.S. I still love playing my ukulele. And I admit, I probably still am a little bit proud. But I hope that when I play, I play not only for other people’s enjoyment, but for God’s glory. He gave me the talent in the first place. And hopefully, someday this little bro of mine will far outshine me! J

Promise! For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hid me; he shall set me up upon a rock. Psalm 27:5